Archive for June, 2007

This, silly brain! Do this!

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

There’s a lot of ways that I can enjoy a story, and a lot of different levels. But especially when I’m doing a lot of writing, I tend to look at things through that particular lens. And every once in a while I come across a story that hits me in just the right spot. And today, I think I first really became aware of what that spot is. It’s me saying “this is what I want to do”. It’s a weird beautiful bittersweet feeling. I get this feeling off Nabokov and Gabriel García Márquez, Carla Speed McNeil’s Finder and The Love Song of Alfred J Prufrock, and Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness. And today, as I was reading The Year’s Best Science Fiction 23rd Annual Collection, I got it off this story, which is apparently free online for a limited time. I’ve been reading a lot of SF lately, mostly to get a feel for different markets. I’ve probably read two dozen different SF, fantasy, and horror stories in the past couple of weeks. This was the first one to get me that way.

So, um, go read it. I think you’ll like it too.

Angriest Rice Cooker Diretor’s Cut 13–On Dreams

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

This is one that I actually posted two different comments about at the time that I posted it. I don’t really have any new musings, so I guess I’ll just reprint those now:

From the newsposts on the old main page:

“The punctuation on the Wondertwin activation speech was a real writing challenge. I think I got it, though.”

From the livejournal:

“In addition to the comment I made about the difficulty of punctuating the Wonder Twin activation speech on the main page, I’ve had some other difficulties with this comic. Namely, what I believed to be a near-universal pop culture reference was missed by almost all the people I showed the comic to when it was in the creation stage. My response to myself was “hey, Family Guy made that joke and they were on NETWORK TV.” Which I quickly recognized as the stupidest justification ever, given that Family Guy is the show that once parodied, at length, the visuals associated with William Shatner’s rendition of Rocket Man. I might as well be taking my accessibility cues from MST3K.

“So for those of you who’ve never had the dubious pleasure of seeing the Wonder Twins, humor websitist Seanbaby has the more or less definitive work on the subject here. It’s worth a look.

Wonder Twins

“P.S.
“‘They’re arresting Harlan Ellison!’

“‘Good.’”

Whew. Reposting those actually ended up taking longer than writing an actual new post. I guess I’ve learned something.

Read the rest of this entry »

Angriest Rice Cooker Director’s Cut 12–On the Internet part 2

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

This one came straight out of my high school experience of being a big smartass and hanging out with other big smartasses. Like many smartass high schoolers, we were really into exposing ourselves to really terrible shit. The amount of effort that my friends put into various goatse.cx related projects is terrifying to me now. One of the reactions that we had to these sorts of great/terrible things was to declare, in a pained voice, “Hurts…so…good.”

My friends also had a lot of fun with goth poetry on the internet.  I wasn’t so much involved in this particular set of exploits, but they created a profile on a goth poetry site. I’m not entirely sure, but I think it was Dark Poetry. Anyway, they threw together a bunch of terrible goth poetry and got in flame wars. The exercise ended when they convinced this one guy (who they had been in a flame war with previously, I believe) that he had successfully talked the fictional person down from suicide. They posted a final upbeat and happy poem and closed that chapter of history. It’s really quite heartwarming.

So anyway, those two ideas got meshed together in this comic:

Read the rest of this entry »

What for nonsense you bear?

Monday, June 4th, 2007

I do not care what comes after; I have seen the dragons on the wind of morning.”

The Farthest Shore by Ursula K. Le Guin

When I was a kid, I was fortunate to stumble onto Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea Trilogy (it’s longer now, but I actually haven’t read beyond the original trilogy). I remember The Farthest Shore, the third book in the series, was particularly mindblowing to me. I’d never read such an exploration of simple beauties, nor seen any book for children that confronted mortality so squarely. When I was in 11th grade, I returned to Le Guin, doing a year-long project on her work.

So when I heard that Studio Ghibli, the people behind films like “Princess Mononoke,” “Spirited Away,” and “Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind,” were making an Earthsea film, I was very interested. I’ve been making it a point to occasionally check the evil illegal bittorent websites for a copy ever since the film came out in Japan about a year ago. Sadly, the film won’t be legally released in the US for at least a couple of more years: the license for the execrable Sci-Fi Channel miniseries of the books prevents it.

Well, now I’ve seen it. Sort of. When I finally found a copy, it was actually a French-dubbed screener. But I also found a file of subtitles in English. Well, I don’t know if you can call it English, exactly. The translation looks like it may have been performed primarily by babelfish. Without the visuals and prior knowledge of the story, I don’t think I could have divined any meaning from these sentences. Whoever translated it had particular difficulty with genders; characters are constantly being referred to as “it.”

So I just watched an adaptation of an American book made by Japanese people, dubbed into French and subtitled back into something vaguely resembling English. Quite the international project.

I was also curious about the movie because of its director. This film was directed by Goro Miyazaki. This is the son of Hayao Miyazaki, who directed all those other amazing films I mentioned above. But prior to this film, he’d never had any experience with animation. He’d avoided it, because of his complex relationship with his father.

There’s plenty I could complain about the movie. It is not up to the standard of Mononoke or Spirited away, the elder Miyazaki’s masterworks. But this is a faint criticism. I don’t think that there’s anyone on the planet who is making traditionally animated films on that level today. And even Hayao Miyazaki didn’t pull it off with his first film.

It also isn’t a faithful adaptation of the books, by a long shot. For one thing, the “sea” in “Earthsea” seems to have been lost somewhere over the Pacific. The plot of this story derives mostly from the first and third books, with borrowings from later stories as well. Both of those books involve large amounts of travel over the sea, which is one of my favorite things about them. The film takes place almost entirely on dry land, with locations that are separated by months of sailing in the books being just a few days walk from one another. Actually, the film feels less like an adaptation and more like a crazed mash-up of beautiful things. A lot of those beautiful things, though by no means all of them, derive from a series of books that also lent their name.

But all that is really beside the point. If I wanted the books, I’d read the books. They’re sitting about four feet from me right now. What I got was a beautiful experience. I got scenes of cityscapes and beautiful ruins, ominous castles and very expressive people. And marvelous dragons. In fact, if I had to sum up the film, this is what I’d say:

I do not care what comes after; I have seen dragons on the wind of morning.”

Sometimes an apeshit mash-up of beautiful things is exactly right.

EDIT: I found what looks like much much better subtitles available here, in case anyone else wants to watch it.

Angriest Rice Cooker Director’s Cut 11–On the Internet Part 1

Monday, June 4th, 2007

You can tell that this one was made in the early days because its title referenced a future strip. After my initial two-month buffer disappeared (a process that took embarrassingly close to two months) I was writing these things on the fly and titling them as I posted them.

This is probably the closest thing the Angriest Rice Cooker gets to a “story strip.” Although obviously I wasn’t terribly worried about plausability (a rice cooker with a wireless connection?), I wanted to at least have some reason why he would know the things he does about the world. Granted, there’s no real reason why he’d heard of Protagoras, Socrates, and Marx. I guess his owners sprung for the “philosophy” add-in. But I had trouble coming up with a joke for the comic where he actually gets connected to the internet. I thought of this one fairly early in the process, but I didn’t want to use it because A) I think it’s a pretty tired joke and B) I think porn on the internet is vastly overstated. Yes, there’s sexual content on the internet. There’s also sexual content in the world. We’re sexual creatures. I don’t actually think that sexual content is disproportionate on the internet. You may remember the news that hopped around the internet a while back that a study by UC Berkeley statistics professor Philip Stark showed that sexually explicit sites represent only about 1% of sites indexed by Google. My body has more sexual content than that.

But whatever. What the Rice Cooker says is technically true whether there is a ton of porn on the internet or not. And it lead into “On the Internet part 2″ which makes fun of a much more hilarious part of the web.

Read the rest of this entry »

Goals

Friday, June 1st, 2007

So, on Tuesday of this week, I had my absolutely last class as an undergraduate. That means that I have a little bit more free time now. I’m taking it somewhat easy this summer. Easy meaning that I’m working less than full time and only undertaking two major volunteer projects.

Now, I’m always doing some kind of writing project. If I don’t, something in me will make me start one. That’s what happened when The Angriest Rice Cooker started. And when I took on another big writing project as the main part of my school work this year, The Angriest Rice Cooker got pushed aside. But now that big writing project is over unless/until I can con a publisher into being interested. So at the end of April I started a new kind of project: writing a lot of short stories.

I’ve been doing that for about five weeks now. What I shoot for, based on the recommendation of an old writing teacher, is one story per week, or if I ever get bitten by the novel bug one chapter per week. That’s in advanced draft mode, but before soliciting feedback. Then in future weeks I keep working on old stories while hacking out the new ones. I’ve done OK. I’ve got four stories to the point where I am ready to get them critiqued, and two of those I’ve even already submitted. I’ve submitted three queries for my book project. So last night I started thinking about what my long term goals are for writing.

Next September through July I’m going to be doing a full time AmeriCorps position while I apply to graduate schools. Assuming all goes well, I’ll enter graduate school in the fall of 2008. At that point, I don’t think I’ll have time to put significant effort into writing. So I think I’m going to make it my goal to write at least 52 short stories in that period, starting five weeks ago. This will give me time to take some weeks to do more revisions, while still giving me a sizable enough reserve of stories that I can keep up efforts to get them published even once I don’t have time to generate as much new material. Which leads me to me second goal, which isn’t limited by the same time. My goal is to make at least 150 separate submissions of short fiction work to markets. That means that each story will get submitted to about three places on average. There will almost surely be some stories I don’t try to submit at all, and others that I keep hacking away at. Obviously, this math falls apart if the stories start getting accepted at the first or second places that see them. But I think that’s a problem that I can live with.

I’m posting this here because I’m a lot more likely to meet goals that I’ve publicly declared. I also plan on adding a little meter to the sidebar of the Angriest Rice Cooker in the World site to keep track of my efforts towards this goal.

Ok, off to finish story number five.

Angriest Rice Cooker Director’s Cut 10–On human fears.

Friday, June 1st, 2007

So, yes, I did put an obscenity in every punchline.  Good to know.

I’m a little bit ashamed to say that this is a comic that I wrote more or less because I thought that the punchline would be kind of cool on a t-shirt. I never did make any Angriest Rice Cooker T-Shirts, although I thought about making a silk screen to make one for myself once.

I still kind of think that a modified version of the last panel would be good on the pocket of a t-shirt. But whatever.

Read the rest of this entry »